Not that good?

I am a hobbyist in a field where people often share and publish material they have created. I have met many of these people, and often complimented them on their creations. Frequently I'll get a response along the lines of, "Oh, my stuff is not that good." My first thought is, "Do you really think my judgement is that bad?" And my second though is, "If you think it's not that good, why are you publishing it?"

Got My Mind Set On You

I typically don't give inanimate objects names. My car doesn't have a name, nor does my guitar. The one exception is my metronome, George. It's convoluted: when I think of the word I split it into two words - metro gnome. Urban elf. Then I think of the cover of All Things Must Pass. And I figure that Mr. Harrison, with his three garden gnomes, must think of himself as a gnome also. So it's a tribute.

I don't think I'd do grrrrrreat

I grew up poor. If I discover a skill or invent something that gets me a billion dollars, somewhere along the way I'm going to screw up. I don't have any training or role models to help me determine how to deal with that much money. So yeah, somewhere, somehow, I'd do something monumentally stupid.

Fore

"Hello. I'm Tiger Woods.

I'm the best in the world at what I do. Because of that, I'm going to pretend it's normal that the world throws obscene amounts of money at me. The world, in turn, is going to pretend it's perfectly OK to examine my life under a microscope, hashing and rehashing details so mundane they wouldn't make page 6 in the Podunk Gazette, then pondering, speculating and outright fabricating stuff they missed in the microscope.

And by mutual consent the world and I are going to pretend that this relationship isn't batshit crazy.

Love and bruises,

T"

Cancer Sucks

Just got the news: wife's aunt died a bit ago. Wife isn't home, so I'll break the news later. Please donate to American Cancer Society.

Svendled?

So as I was saying...

I'm on some social network or other, I think it's MeetOtherNerdsLikeMe, and there's this guy, we'll call him Sven, who starts every day, and almost every post, by praising Jebus and thanking the Lord for the really beautiful day and all the wonderful nerds and such. So far all well and good.

The other day I posted that I had gone to see a movie: Pee Wee Herman 3 - Bubba Makes Me His Bitch. Well, Sven posts that he saw it online and asks why I'd be so naive as to pay to see it in a theater.

At this point I become confused. Not an uncommon state for me, but still...

You see, I know Pee Wee 3 is a brand new release, and I'm fairly sure that watching it for free constitutes theft. So that's part one of the confusion.

Part 2 is my ign'ant atheist self. I seem to recall a fairly important tenet of the Praise Jebus faith, something about the 11 Fairly Strong Suggestions, I think. I'm trying to remember the pertinent one.

Thou shalt not eat veal?
Thou shalt not ride a Big Wheel?
Thou shalt not squeal? (That sounds damn close...)
Thou shalt not listen to The Captain and Tennille? (OK, there should have been a 12th Fairly Strong Suggestion.)

In any event, must steal away to think of the next pithy post.

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Two Notes For The Jebus Praisers Who Will Bring Up The Inevitable Objections:

1. Of course I know I'm not perfect. There are at least two misspellings in this post, I'm on 37 antipsychotic drugs, and I watch way too much court tv. (Except for Judge Judy. She's just mean.)

2. No, I'm not saying Sven is pure evil. I'm fairly sure he has not practiced animal husbandry or worshipped a false American Idol.